tick tock tick tock

And so it is...the clock is ticking and I draw closer to the moment of boarding a plane destined for LAX. I have been an emotional wreck trying to decide if I should stay in China or return to the United States. I change my mind on a daily basis, literally. One day I am ready to go home and attack the job market then the next morning I realize how much I love shanghai and the friends I have made here.

Ultimately, I want to learn Chinese and experience the culture. There is no argument that this is an unforgettable and invaluable experience. The unfortunate note of such a positive experience is that for me to gain work experience in the fields I wish to pursue a career I must speak Chinese while residing in China. I do not like teaching, but there is a unique opportunity to practice skills in public speaking, organization, leadership, and command presence. all of which are necessary in any job.

I think the most frustrating or emotionally perplexing thing is that I must make a decision that will have a positive outcome for my future. I have no desire to waste time and delaying my career, but I also do not want to tie myself down to non-stop working in an unfulfilling, low wage job. I feel like my thoughts are endless and it is beyond frightening to make a decision that will affect the "adult" me.

I think the most important thing in the end is that I trust myself and know that there is a wealth of support for my decisions. One can only be a failure if they choose not to learn from their shortcomings and utilize the knowledge afforded by unique situations.