tick tock tick tock

And so it is...the clock is ticking and I draw closer to the moment of boarding a plane destined for LAX. I have been an emotional wreck trying to decide if I should stay in China or return to the United States. I change my mind on a daily basis, literally. One day I am ready to go home and attack the job market then the next morning I realize how much I love shanghai and the friends I have made here.

Ultimately, I want to learn Chinese and experience the culture. There is no argument that this is an unforgettable and invaluable experience. The unfortunate note of such a positive experience is that for me to gain work experience in the fields I wish to pursue a career I must speak Chinese while residing in China. I do not like teaching, but there is a unique opportunity to practice skills in public speaking, organization, leadership, and command presence. all of which are necessary in any job.

I think the most frustrating or emotionally perplexing thing is that I must make a decision that will have a positive outcome for my future. I have no desire to waste time and delaying my career, but I also do not want to tie myself down to non-stop working in an unfulfilling, low wage job. I feel like my thoughts are endless and it is beyond frightening to make a decision that will affect the "adult" me.

I think the most important thing in the end is that I trust myself and know that there is a wealth of support for my decisions. One can only be a failure if they choose not to learn from their shortcomings and utilize the knowledge afforded by unique situations.

Ladybois and corruption

I am very fortunate to have a tutoring gig that allows me to interact with a Chinese student as well as earn money just by sitting around an having a conversation. Yesterday I was chatting with my tutee and he told me that he thinks Thai women are the most beautiful women in eastern Asia. He then told me that there are a lot of "Yao ren" there. This is the Chinese term for what many of us know as ladyboys, or ladybois if you want to put a little wordazzle on it.

Then we focused on Shanghai and an area called Zhongshan Park. My tutee, who goes by the English name of Dom, said that he has seen many girls holding hands and kissing other girls. He has also seen boys doing the same. He then told me, "it is so sexy to see two pretty girls kissing, but makes me feel disgusting when I see two guys." Being true to my nature I decided I would teach him what devil's advocate means by barraging him with questions using his words and logic. I asked him if two guys were kissing and they were sexy would he like it since he would like two girls. He told me "no." this made me laugh a bit and then he started to ask me about gays in the United States. He told me he thinks there is nothing wrong with being gay, but he was not gay...only girls.

The other topic we discussed was corruption and connections. How these two words are extremely similar, yet we behave as if they are worlds apart. The only difference is one is illegal favoritism.
Corruption is everywhere in China and if you come from an affluent family and/or a family with the proper connections than anything is possible in China. My tutee thinks that this is not fair, but it is necessary if he wants to be successful. Ultimately, it sucks for poorer Chinese, but he does not care much because he needs to do whatever is necessary for him to get good grades (assisted or not) and go to a good university.

'Twas an interesting conversation with a Chinese person for an hour of tutoring, which included 200RMB and dinner.

Conflicted and confused

As I complete my final weeks here in Shanghai I cannot help, but to feel conflicted and confused. A lot has changed and I do not have a concrete reason to return to California just yet. My ultimate reasons for staying in China are to learn Chinese and not being ready to return home.

The benefits of knowing Chinese are undeniable. They might not have immediate benefits when I return home, but they will provide me with job security because I will be able to communicate in a language of an economy that will soon be the largest consumer in the world. However, there are other moments where I do not care about speaking Chinese. I want to just return home and find a job. To add to the stress I must be able to earn enough money here in Shanghai to be able to live and pay my student loans. I am sure it is more than possible, but I wish to be prudent rather than foolish.

Another option for learning Chinese it to take an intensive coarse for two semesters. I found one that is 30 hours per week and another is 36 hours per week. They cost 28,000 RMB and 30,000RMB (little less than $5,000) per year. I do not know where I am going to get this money and I would still have to be able to provide for my living. I have some money saved up, but I will fall short somewhere. I do not want to work if I am going to take 36 hours of class a week. That is a lot of studying! 

I have much to think about in the last five weeks of my stay here in Shanghai. I am going to speak to Jin Cai tomorrow and see what positions they have left. I may continue to work and do tutoring on the side. I could use that as supplemental income.

Forgive my jumbled ramblings. This is not a lot to think about, but I must consider how it will affect my future and THAT is very daunting.

Only time will tell!

oh, How I will miss China

Everyday I see something you do not see everyday.

I will have to capture more moments like this. I have become very accustomed to this that I forget to take pictures.

A brief Chinese lesson

Here is a little lesson in Chinese.

你好 ni hao － hello

早上好 zao shang hao － good morning

晚安 wan an － good night

再见 zaijian － bye，see you later

我很累 wo hen lei － I'm tired

我很冷 wo hen leng － I'm cold

我很热 wo hen re － I'm hot

这是什么 zhe shi shenme － what is this？

我要这个 wo yao zhege － I want this

我不要 wo bu yao － I don’t want it

这个 zhege － this

多少钱 duoshao qian – how much does it cost?

不要欺骗我 bu yao qipian wo － don’t cheat me

太贵了 tai gui le － too expensive

我是美国人 wo shi meiguoren － I’m American。

机场 jichang － airport

中国 zhongguo － China

上海 shanghai － Shanghai

浦西 puxi － west section of Shanghai

浦东 pudong － east section of Shanghai

北京 beijing － Beijing

美国 meiguo － US （beautiful country）

日本 riben  － Japan

韩国 hanguo － Korea

Colors：

红色 hong se

成色 cheng se

黄色 huang se

绿色 lu se

蓝色 lan se

紫色 zi se

黑色 hei se

白色 bai se

Fruit:

苹果 pingguo － apple

成子 chengzi － orange

樱桃 yingtao － cherry

葡萄 putao － grape

橡胶 xiangjiao － banana

西瓜 xigua －  watermelon

Family:

妈妈 mama － mom

爸爸 baba － dad

哥哥 gege － older brother

弟弟 didi － younger brother

姐姐 jiejie － older sister

妹妹 meimei － younger sister

from here it gets more complex. Chinese have words for every member in a family and their position (maternal or paternal).

Numbers:

一yi - 1

二er - 2

三san - 3

四si - 4

五wu - 5

六liu - 6

七qi - 7

八ba - 8

九jiu - 9

十shi - 10

十一shiyi - 11

十二shier - 12

二十ershi 20

二十一ershiyi - 21

百bai - 100

Alright, here is your survival Chinese language course.

You didn’t hear? This is China!

During my trip in Thailand I could not help, but to make comparisons with China. It was almost like night and day. I also realized I have not fully described many of the amazing differences in China. Since I live in Shanghai and I am at a point where I am either used to a behavior or I have just accepted it in order to make my life easy. This has led me to forget to report these differences.

The two most important rules in China:

1.     The only rule is that there are no rules.

2.     Money buys anything!

When in China…

-Do bring tissues, napkins, and toilet paper with you. Most restaurants do not provide napkins for their customers. If they do offer napkins you should expect to pay at least 1-3元. You should always keep toilet paper with you as well because many public restrooms do not carry toilet paper. It would be a tragic event if you had to run to the toilet to relieve yourself and realize that there is nothing there to use to wipe your rear. I have not seen this be a problem in western-like places, but one can never be too safe.

-Do not use too much toilet paper because it is likely that it wont make it to the sewer. Instead, the Chinese prefer that you put soiled paper in the “rubbish bin.” I never follow this rule, but I do implore you to use one or two sheets at a time and flush FREQUENTLY! Apparently, Chinese plumbing is delicate.

-Do watch traffic always because pedestrians do not have the right of way. It goes from biggest to smallest. I have seen people get hit because they were not paying attention.

-Do pay attention because Chinese people do not.

-Do not drink water from the sink because no one knows what is in the water. It is not a case of microbes, but rather metals, chemicals, and everything else that should not be coupled with water. Go out and buy water bottles!

-Do not be upset if you are riding a bike in the correct direction and someone decides they want to go the wrong direction. It can be rush hour for bikes and there will always be one braniac who finds it more convenient to inconvenience everyone else. This rule hold true for just about everything in China.

-Do not be afraid to push people in the metro or bus…because they will definitely be pushing you out of their way. China does not have civility when it comes to right of way and just about…everything else.

-Do not be upset if people stare. Chinese people have lived in a closed society for the last few generations. People will try to take pictures and have no problem with gawking. Blond hair, red hair, blue eyes, and black people be warned.

-Do not be afraid to be a little rude by western standards. You will need this to survive in China. If you need to get a little loud to get a point across, so be it.

-Do not be upset if people cut. Chinese have no concept of lines, or they do but they try to get away with not getting in a line. Let them know it is not cool and lay the smack down.

-Do say “ni hao你好,” “qing wen请问,” “xiexie谢谢,” and “dui bu qi对不起” because these are probably the only Chinese words you will learn as a tourist and they can help you get a response or smile out of the Chinese person you are dealing with. I mean, who doesn’t like to hear a foreign attempt to speak their language?

-Do not be confused when people say kuai and not renmenbi or yuan. All are correct, but everyone calls the money kuai.

- Do not be alarmed if you see a parent running with a leaky baby. They are probably trying to find a trash can for their baby to pee in. Diapers are not widely used and you will see young children pee and poop outside on the corner.

-Do not question the cleanliness of a Chinese restaurant. Sometimes it is just better to not ask than to find out. You may never eat Chinese food. Don’t ask, don’t tell.

- Do not worry if you cannot find a dryer. Most people do not own dryers and just hang their clothes to dry.

-Do not be surprised if you see a car that you think is a Toyota, VW, Hyundai, or anything recognizable to the western eye because China has many faux car brands.

-Do not buy your dvd for 5 kuai…it should be 4 kuai.

- Do not worry about it being real or fake. You will spend more time figuring it out than the actual product will last.

-Do buy street food because it is cheaper an more delicious than Western restaurants. This includes sweets potatoes cooked in oil barrels, roasted nuts, noodles and rice of the carts at 11pm, and tons of fruit.

-Do speak to people, even in English. Many young people have some level of English. They cannot understand rapid speech, but they know enough to get by. Chinese people are very friendly and you just might find yourself a new friend or a free tour guide. Also, some Chinese people have seen foreigners if they live in Shanghai or Beijing, but the majority have not and a very few have had the chance to actually converse and have a cultural exchange. Americans fascinate many Chinese. My experiences have been positive.

- Do not be shocked if it is summer time and you see men outside hanging out in their underwear.

- Do not be shocked when you go to the gym locker room and people are naked and having a debate over some Chinese topic. Seems that conversations don’t begin until everyone is equally naked. The shower in the locker room is like the watering hole for gossip.

-Do not be upset if you are at the gym and Chinese people are just sitting on a machine reading, talking on the phone, applying makeup and perfume, or they aren’t beating their kid for being on a machine. Many Chinese people really have no experience with Western concepts of fitness; therefore, they have not developed the same manners system.

There are more, but I am tired of writing…as I think of them I will post.

Thailand is an amazing place

Thailand…what a country!

I think I have fallen in love with another country. Despite the hot, humid summers I think that I would love to live there. The people are amazingly kind. Everyone smiles even if they do not know you and seem to always be willing to help out. The first time I really encountered anything Thai was with my students. My one student Gig would always write in his essays, “Thailand, a land of smiles.” I never knew what this meant and figured it was some type of slogan he applied to Thailand. This past week has shown me exactly what this “land of smiles” truly is. And it turns out “land of smiles” is an actual expression used for Thailand.

Bangkok is a wonderful and reminded much of home. It is just like any other large city that is full of concrete, large buildings, and traffic. The city is spread out quite far and it is hard to get to a centralized location. I arrived at 1am and I made it to YHA Hostel at 2am. What a better introduction to Thailand than to see a group of young Thais eating at a street vendor. Of course, you know one of them was a tranny! I also noticed a Western guy trying to “holla at a shawty” aka prostitute. If I were to see this in Los Angeles or New York I might be turned off, but there was a sense of charm in this as Thailand is known for many things and its diverse population is no exception.

Transportation:

Bangkok has a sky train that links from the airport through most of the major areas. There was a subway, but I did not have the chance to experience it. The subway system is not that extensive and not very handy. There were taxis, but not much needs to be mentioned there. The base fair is 35 Baht. Many of the taxis are hot pink or yellow and green. You can also get around by motorcycle taxis. This is very convenient if you don’t have bags or luggage. Last, there are tuktuks. No experience of Thailand is complete if you have not been on a tuktuk. I used a tuktuk a few times to get around when I was visiting the national palace and many of the temples around it. It is kind of hard to explain a tuktuk, so I will just add a picture. These little death on wheels are kind of like motorcycles that have a space in the back that can hold up to three people. They are small so they move quickly in and out of traffic. All I can say is…craziness!

The People:

Trannies, temples, and tuktuks, oh my! Thailand is such a diverse country. The skin complexions are all over the place. You have Thais who are lighter and maybe appear more “typical” to the Western eye. In the southern part of Thailand the skin complexions are much darker and some even resemble Filipinos or Samoans. I believe Austronesian peoples inhabited the southern part of the peninsula, which is why there is a drastic difference in appearance from those of northern Thailand. 

The language is a tonal language and seems to be much more complicated than Chinese. In addition, the alphabet is quite extensive with many letters, which also include marks that detail sounds and tones.

One of the most stricking things about Thailand is how friendly everyone was. People actually smile. It is a great feeling when a stranger gives you a warm smile. People are very polite and generally do not push other people out of their way, a very stark contrast to China. I used to think certain manners were very Western in belief, but Thailand has made me believe differently.

Another thing that is different than much of the world is Thais are fairly tolerant. Regardless if they believe in something or not they are able to tolerate it. In Thai society you do not have people who gawk at those who are different than them. One of the most obvious examples of this are the lady boys. There are many gay in Thailand and there are always many men who live their lives as women. Many of them you may never know are women until they speak. Although, my first tranny experience was at 7-11 (there are a million in Thailand). The cashier was a feisty lady boy who was bossing everyone around. He, or she, had long hair and what must have been a bra because he had to small little mounds, which I assume were supposed to be boobs. To add a cherry to the whip cream he had…get ready…wait for it…stubble! The nerve of him/her to come to work as a lady, but not shave. It was a hot mess (for those who do not know this expression…He did not look put together). This is very common in Thai culture. Almost every shop, restaurant, hotel, or business had at least one gay guy, lesbian, or lady boy. I think there is a lot to be learned from Thai culture. Last note on lady boys, many of them are biologically men, but they live their lives as women and they do not wish to be eccentric and live on the fringe of society. They dress as women and function as women and do not try to be drag queens or on a float screaming down the street. They live in society as any other person would.

It is just an amazing culture and I recommend it to everyone. I am very happy that I took the opportunity to visit this country. It was also extra special because my student Gig took the time to show me around Bangkok. He told me, “Mr. Josh, just let me do all the talking because you look like Thai from the south. Thais don’t have to pay to get into the temples.” Unfortunately, this only worked a couple of times. I was not dressed appropriately most of the time when we went to the temples. I guess I did not get the memo about not wearing shorts to a Buddhist temple.

Here are some pictures:

Thailand